I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
