please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
