You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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