More tranny stories later!
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
If you break up with me one more time it's over.