Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?