So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?