I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
