I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
My bed smells like the plague
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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