he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize