Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
