Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
