She went from zero to smokin in five shots
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
