I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Can you bring me the toilet please
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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