sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Bring me that man meat
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
