At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
