why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
