All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
