Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We talked him into tasing himself.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
