Sry I called you an 8
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
