Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
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I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
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AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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