Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm like, not good at living.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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