Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
