I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
