Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
