Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
