At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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