she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
