And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
