So drunk its hurt
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
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Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
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MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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