Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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