Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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