its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
