i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
