Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
