So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
