sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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