Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
