so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
