I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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