"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
