I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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