i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
