well I can't set my house on fire every night
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
