the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize