He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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