did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
