I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
