I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
