I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
