i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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