I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
