im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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