i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
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IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
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We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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