Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just blew my weed a kiss
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
sex in a hospital.. check
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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