dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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