This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
