After last night, I could never be a politician.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
