I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
