So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
we made out on top of his cat.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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