i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He shit in the fireplace
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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