I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
