Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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